flustered!

i kinda just want to take the easy way out as uuuusual and just run from the difficult situations >_< i am quick to give up and when some troubled times come i easily say "ahh whatever" and want to walk away. i know it's so horrible to say this but being around these people have been very frustrating at times and sometimes very discouraging to me. i think it's mostly due to my own lack of love and patience to "deal" with them and their words so i will pray for more of this!! i guess it's like i want to retreat to my bubble of where i'm comfortable but noooo we are called to GO!! i think i've been comfortable too long and God has already blessed me with the opportunities to share my faith and beliefs (woohoo God answered prayers :)). Need to persevere and be FAITHFUL to what God has given me, which is the opportunity to be a light into the darkness. i think i am learning a lot about what it means to be faithful to God. It sort of reminds me of Jesus and his prayer in Gethsemane asking if there was another way.. but ends His prayer with "not my will, but yours, be done". Though my task is no where as difficult as Jesus' was, may i remain faithful to what God has given me and to seek after God's will, not my own.

but anyway, tonight i had a great time of fellowship with some brothers and sisters in ottawa so that was refreshing! and tomorrow i will be going to see starfield in concert :) and this is a song that i like/is an encouragement in this situation ahaha "the world behind me, the Cross before me" may it be like this!! Christ first :)