blessed with different circumstances

just now i said aloud "i'm so hungry" and then i instantly regretted saying it because i realized i'm NOT THAT hungry. i'm just a bit hungry. and even when i'm REALLY hungry it probably doesn't compare to what people who don't have constant access to food really feel... whenever we say grace before our meals and give thanks to God for the food that we so readily have and for the lifestyle that we live... are we really actually grateful? sometimes i feel like i'm just grateful at that moment but later on i'm going to complain about this and that... i want to know what it means to be truly thankful for the lifestyle that God has blessed with. but i don't mean that because we live better off lives we are any better than those who have, materially, less. i once watched some program about some people who would go experience what it means to live under hardships and after a time that the people spent homeless for a couple days, one of them said that it's not that one is any better than the other, just that we are blessed with different circumstances.

i guess what really got me thinking about this whole thing is my geog203 class haha which i've blogged about many times. i recently watched a video clip about electronic wastes and how we always want new technology or old technology is quickly replaced by new stuff. the old stuff gets shipped away to the poor parts of the world where people sort through our toxic waste in order to get scraps of metal and other minerals they can sell to earn a living. however the practices they use to extract this is extremely toxic and harmful to their health. it's very expensive to do this in a healthier manner so companies don't want to pay these costs and send them away. the clip shows a man in india using toxic methods to extract things out of old computers and he says "i know i'm wasting my life, but i don't want my children to waste theirs" :( and then in a small village in China, all you see is piles of old technology and people using dangerous methods like heating lead and then breathing it in >< it made me want to cry T_T it really bothered me after class as i walked to slc... i guess it made me want to know and be TRULY grateful... idunnoooo it's sad =( but just feels lk theres nothing i can do


on a less serious note.. i'm done midterms until after reading week anddd i think it overall went okay? it was kind of a tough second week but i think God really brought me through it and at the end of my last midterm for the week, i stepped out of B1 and the weather was absolutely WONDERFUL and ... it was just beautiful haha thank you God so much SO MUCH :)

"stuff"

i haven't been blogging too often this term. i think it's also because i have to log off of gmail and sign on with my hotmail account cause that's what it's connected to so it's kind of a bother =( but now that i am not chatting with anyone currently i figure it's a good time to catch up a bit. i think too much time has passed since my last post really fill it all in but i guess no one wants to read everything anyway hahah

but idunno things are... interesting. 4 midterms coming up before reading week.. kinda takes away the point of reading week to use it for studying haha but it's okay it means i'll have a more relaxed break :D and i went home this weekend and i didn't get to spend a lot of time with my family so i'm feeling really homesick right now :( also i have been getting so little sleep.. today i slept SO MUCH T_T in class after vball, at slc after class, in class later on in the afternoon, in slc again after class.... so bad!! and here i am posting at 145 am >_< i also got a new phone and it's a slide with a full keyboard. it makes me feel like the girl from code geass with is a knight of the rounds and she always carries around a device that appears similar to my phone and she pilots this heavy power robot :D i sometimes like to identify myself with cool characters from places or games heh




------------

"stuff" ..feeling very heavy hearted..want to explode T_T

reconcile

I've been learning a lot lately and just seen how God has worked in my life to reconcile me to a friend really brings it home again just how sovereign and almighty He is. Things that seemed impossible or unlikely, God can do! I feel like there are still so many people i have to "get right with"... even broken relationships that just don't even have anymore anger or tension still have that lingering awkwardness that needs to be overcome. But i won't be discouraged because i know that it can be done if it is in His will. i guess recently i've been able to see the pain and hurt that comes with tension between people, when there is anger and when two people just need to be reconciled to one another; forgiven...

31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Ephesians 4:31 - 32

i'm also learning about the huge difference between Godly love and human love... they are so different and the gap is huge. on our own we could never love everyone selflessly but when we consider the Cross and love from an overflow of the heart, God's love is apparent and goooood!