azn fail

i azn failed my chem test. i am sure >< i left a question blank and it was worth 3 marks so the most i could get is 47/50 and there is no way i will get perfect on the rest of the test. therefore, azn faillll. and now i must stop thinking about it and study spanishhhh

i wish my life was like a drama... or maybe not

something weird is happening to me and it's kind of scary. but maybe it's taken out of context because i like to watch dramas a lot and dramas are, well, dramatic. Getting up to get off the GO train one morning i proceed towards the stairs and after taking that first step, my legs become all wobbly and weak and my descend down the stairs was very unstable. At first i was completely shocked because this has never happened before. Then i thought about it and figured that i was probably just really tired, considering that i can never sleep at night. But i guess thinking about it more now, it's really beginning to scare me. How weak i always feel because of how tired i am plus not being able to walk down just a couple steps of stairs stably has got me concerned about my own wellbeing. It's kind of weird, since i've always wanted my life to be like a drama. Even though you get sick, the extent to which people care for you is amplified (if that is the right word...) and it's one of those things where all this really sad, and somewhat bittersweet stuff happens to the main character. But now that i'm here with such circumstances, i don't know if it's worth it. People would probably think i'm thinking too much and making this thing too big of a deal and scaring myself. and if anyone thinks that, they are probably right.

But this brings me to my next... issue? i have all these feelings inside (i know that sounds incredibly lame) and they're really sad actually. Well they make me sad and i really don't know how to get it out. i know i am always trying to seek comfort or understanding from my friends, but i can't bring myself to express how i really feel about anything. And there are always those things you just can't tell someone (e.g. "i feel sad because you just kept talking to this guy when i wanted to say something") Many times i just want to "break down" and cry because that is probably the easiest way i can just tell the world and have someone realize and care. I suppose it really isn't anyone else's fault because how can i expect them to know if i don't show it. and just to clarify, my friends aren't bad friends, i really love them! but i guess sometimes it's nice when people care without having been called on it to do so.

I know i'm probably just in a really "unhappy" or "emo" mood right now because some things have happened and whatnot and fortunately it'll all blow over by tomorrow. =)"You have to face the rain before you can get the rainbows." or something like that... and i know God is continually walking with me through this so yay God<3! This has probably got to be my deepest post yet.

i can see!

well today i went to the optometrist and my eyesight is not toooo bad :P but i really need glasses because i sit at the front of the bio classroom and i still can't see the powerpoint too clearly *sighs* anyways. i went to fmp to get some glasses! :)

it was really funny actually. the guy was so casual and like ... "weird/cool" hahah like when i was trying them on he was like...singing to the song that was playing. and since it was so casual my mom was just like "yes my daughter is very low tow" (sound it out) and she said it really loudly so everyone heard >< gosh and i was just like "gosh mommmmyyy you're so mean :(" embarassing!!

anyways these are the glasses i got!

i really hope that i don't look weird and people aren't like... "ew" :( i am so insecure! ahaha >< someone's like "i can't imagine you with thick framed glasses" and someone else says "i think you'd look good" (by just imagining the glasses on my face) SO I DON'T REALLY KNOW. my mom is like "they're good!" but she's mean lol so can't trust her judgment too much! teehee

untitled

i just read my last post. and i realize i blog about really meaningless things... i was reading kwan's blog and his are so much more "not mo liu" >< couldn't think of any other way to put it. just reading my own post makes me feel like a loser O_o aiyors
well things i accomplished today... i managed to finally reply to everyone's wall post on facebook, finished Kino's journey, filled a USB key with videos from karaoke, and absolutely no work. This is all kind of really sad because my life feels so bland right now! even weekends aren't even too exciting cause it just means you have to take time out of you nice rest time and do work. or maybe i'm just really dumb and lazy =( which i know i am a lot more of this year than last cause all my marks are dropping! and i'm not even one to care that much about marks but since i have two grade 12 science courses on my plate.. it is a bit scary.
MUST TRY HARDER TO KEEP UP WITH MY WORK... ADD OIL SALINA ><

it's a small world after all =)

so today i decided to volunteer on mondays instead of on wednesdays at the hospital (optometrist appointment this wednesday!) and i meet these two ppl who are really nice =)

one of them, who works on the monday 4-6 shift in health records is named mackenzie =) she goes to alex mac ahah and she also happens to know a girl from my school through that science DEEP program. aww she is soo sweet! at first i was really not wanting to work with someone else during the shift but today was really fun =) and it's just interesting cause she happens to know people i know :P

THE SECOND ONE.. this one is a bit stranger.. lol i decided to visit john again! (from my old monday 6-8 escort shift) which is the shift mwan is currently on right now :P and i met this guy, jason mak. let's list weird things/parallels >_>
- his brother goes to my school and my brother goes to his school O_o
- our birthdays are both on january 22nd, 1991. THIS WAS THE WEIRDEST THING WHEN I FOUND OUT
- he goes to bayview and used to go to PCA so i know a lot of ppl that he knows
- we were both part of CCSA
so anyways..that's all kind of really strange :P and really fun ahaha lots of laughterr today and making new friends! :P good day ^__^b

back from the states!

well this long weekend my family decided to go take a trip down south a bit to the states to do a bit of shopping :) goshh it was sooo tiring >< i feel like i never want to shop againnnn especially with all those ppl and those lines! and the asian deprivation! On the first day i only saw 1 other asian family. it got better on the second day =P but i just missed the asian environment of living in richmond hill =)
i thought i bought so much stuff but once i got home to sort it all out i realized that i really didn't but that much O_o but it's okay. i guess it was pretty fun cause we weren't planning on staying another night but we ended up staying another night and some what helplessly wandering around buffalo/niagara looking for a place to sleep. it wasn't THAT helpless but in the end we found a motel close to the falls and it was sooo creepy (at first) but it got better. haha i was so scared of those like creepy murder movies at motel stuff... >_> i was planning to blog a lot about my adventure but now that i think about it ... not really exciting lol >< OH WELL

愛你愛你愛你

more videos :) this one is really cute! haha it makes me want to smileeee ^__^ not so much liking the video and i SUPPOSE this song could become annoying but 愛你愛你愛你!!!