Recently I learnt about a song called "By your side" by Tenth Avenue North. And i guess God's timing really is perfect :) Recently been going through some kinda crappy feelings about friendships and I dont' know how to respond or how to respond out of love and sometimes it makes me feel lk i'm lacking good relationships, the kind of relationship that God wants and intended us to share with one another. I guess it's only been with one group of friends but it's been tough because no one wants to feel like they are losing friends, unless i guess you're purposely walking away. But this song brough reassurance, that HE is always there. and i know no earthly friend could ever promise me that. I know this doesn't really help me in terms of how to handle or fix these friendships but it reassures me that even when i feel terrible, He is the greatest friend and He is thereeeee.
"Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run
...
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you."
I love that God is enough. Only He truly satisfies.. and all these things give me hope even when I feel lk things are confusing, are messy, are upsetting. God is just so good :)
Monday, August 31, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
"all my social needs are being met"
is what wendy said to me during our little heart to heart :) and it wasn't really in the same context as what i'm about to blog about... lol but my social needs really ARE being met this summer and i'm truly truly grateful. i always struggle with titling my blogs haha cause i don't want it to just be like "what i did during _____" and i want something to reflect the whole thing but i don't want to seem like i'm trying too hard hahaha so it always takes me like an hour to start the actual blogging..
anyway i was just going to blog about my eventful weekend haha. very tiring but still i strive to hang out.. i was thinking about this actually. and for someone that seems to love to sleep and stuff, i really don't try to sleep a lot.. anyways a lot of fun and interesting things happened :) there was lockin, wedding, eating wings :D, pmall!, chilling at my house!, umping and many stories from that haha just very fun filled and left little time for rest :P
ANYWAY all started wiht lock-in i suppose haha got to church, played a tonnnn of games :P random make an mv one (reallly embarassing!), sardines (hide and seek in the dark sort of.. some creepy stuff.. haha), and then that ended about 12 am and then had a good talk with wendy :) watched the island (which was such a looong movie), played an amazing game of charades (alien and asian ahhaah) and just watched random things on youtube, tons of laughs, TETRIS haha and it was getting to be around 6 am haha so decided to not sleep and just spent some alone time with God n it was cool =) very tiring though ahah idunno how i did it. and then around 8 30/9 am we went to aly's house to shower haha after a VERY sweaty activity night and to prep for Jo's wedding~ and starting to realize how tired i was haha but we made it to the wedding =) I LOVE WEDDINGS haha always so happy! but getting reallly sleepy now... but took pictures :) and then we went to eat at st louis' wing place and it was super tasty :D and as if that wasn't enough adventuring and not napping. we made a trip over to pmall and was going to watch some other games but after pmall we all realized we'd had enough and would really like to rest haha so we headed home. i DID get 15 minutes to sleep in esther's car though! anyways got home napped for 2 hours :D and then jo and chick, eventually oscar :P came over and we watched WOLVERINE. which was kind of weird haha it was okay though... SO that's day 1 :P that was an incredibly long day. i've only rarely stayed up for the whole 24 hours...
anyways SUNDAY was chuuurch and then we ate at ginza with some ppl =) that was pretty fun haha played with the dsi that was jokes. some bad pics tho XD and then andrea and i headed off to ump for 6 hours! and we were kind of laaate so the teams had devos first :( but i think we did a fairly good job despite the fact that we had no head ump lol anyways weird thing was we umped samaritans and then everyone kept telling me how there was a girl on the team that looks exactly like me ahha and then after the game a bunch of ppl came up along with the girl and asked if they could take a picture of us together haha. i'm excited to see how those turn out O_o it was my paparazzi moment :P and i saw a lot of people that i've met before so got to talk to other people again too which was nice :) sharon came! haha yuuup and another thing happened with the sam's shortstop. that was kinda awkward so i shall not broadcast the story lol but it was veryyyy weird. but YUP umping was pretty fun! got to ump every single base except for home XD even first! haha and it was jokes because at the very end all of sack of rice just started to talk to us and we were like .."hi" ahahah but it was cool. fun team (FUN TEAM OSCAR I CALLED YOUR TEAM FUN :D) and then we saw them at pho XD then went to jo's with oscie (tricked him goood) and then homehomehome :D and that about sums up my super busy fun-filled awesomeee weekend. :D
anyway i was just going to blog about my eventful weekend haha. very tiring but still i strive to hang out.. i was thinking about this actually. and for someone that seems to love to sleep and stuff, i really don't try to sleep a lot.. anyways a lot of fun and interesting things happened :) there was lockin, wedding, eating wings :D, pmall!, chilling at my house!, umping and many stories from that haha just very fun filled and left little time for rest :P
ANYWAY all started wiht lock-in i suppose haha got to church, played a tonnnn of games :P random make an mv one (reallly embarassing!), sardines (hide and seek in the dark sort of.. some creepy stuff.. haha), and then that ended about 12 am and then had a good talk with wendy :) watched the island (which was such a looong movie), played an amazing game of charades (alien and asian ahhaah) and just watched random things on youtube, tons of laughs, TETRIS haha and it was getting to be around 6 am haha so decided to not sleep and just spent some alone time with God n it was cool =) very tiring though ahah idunno how i did it. and then around 8 30/9 am we went to aly's house to shower haha after a VERY sweaty activity night and to prep for Jo's wedding~ and starting to realize how tired i was haha but we made it to the wedding =) I LOVE WEDDINGS haha always so happy! but getting reallly sleepy now... but took pictures :) and then we went to eat at st louis' wing place and it was super tasty :D and as if that wasn't enough adventuring and not napping. we made a trip over to pmall and was going to watch some other games but after pmall we all realized we'd had enough and would really like to rest haha so we headed home. i DID get 15 minutes to sleep in esther's car though! anyways got home napped for 2 hours :D and then jo and chick, eventually oscar :P came over and we watched WOLVERINE. which was kind of weird haha it was okay though... SO that's day 1 :P that was an incredibly long day. i've only rarely stayed up for the whole 24 hours...
anyways SUNDAY was chuuurch and then we ate at ginza with some ppl =) that was pretty fun haha played with the dsi that was jokes. some bad pics tho XD and then andrea and i headed off to ump for 6 hours! and we were kind of laaate so the teams had devos first :( but i think we did a fairly good job despite the fact that we had no head ump lol anyways weird thing was we umped samaritans and then everyone kept telling me how there was a girl on the team that looks exactly like me ahha and then after the game a bunch of ppl came up along with the girl and asked if they could take a picture of us together haha. i'm excited to see how those turn out O_o it was my paparazzi moment :P and i saw a lot of people that i've met before so got to talk to other people again too which was nice :) sharon came! haha yuuup and another thing happened with the sam's shortstop. that was kinda awkward so i shall not broadcast the story lol but it was veryyyy weird. but YUP umping was pretty fun! got to ump every single base except for home XD even first! haha and it was jokes because at the very end all of sack of rice just started to talk to us and we were like .."hi" ahahah but it was cool. fun team (FUN TEAM OSCAR I CALLED YOUR TEAM FUN :D) and then we saw them at pho XD then went to jo's with oscie (tricked him goood) and then homehomehome :D and that about sums up my super busy fun-filled awesomeee weekend. :D
Monday, August 17, 2009
T_T
i can't believe i'm struggling so hard with the end of summer... idunno i learnt the hard way that sometimes you really just need to move on. but right now i really don't want to =( but inevitably fall will come and i'll head off to university. and i will probably love meeting new people and being all independent but i'm really sad that it won't be the kind of fun that i've had this july and august.
i guess i started thinking about it again because this weekend was just very very fun. i've always loved playing with soldiers and going to socials but this year i just felt a lot closer with the group, probably because just got to talk to people more, the amount of time we spend with each other and not only softball time but also at church/fellowship :) i love being around people that i know care (EVEN WHEN THEY MAKE FUN OF ME >___>) i guess it's kind of funny haha it's just sad because i know some of these people i won't really be talking to much or seeing at all after i head into loo. probably until next summer even... like howard? =( what 22 year old will talk to me about going into space in his gundam and act like he's ...10... hehe and i like that people will drive me home! and are very gracious with rides :) thanks kevinnn lol (not only that you drive me home, also the ride is quite fun ^^) and i like that people buy me food. not because i get free food but because they buy me food without me asking and that makes me feel good haha thanks for treating, guys!
IDUNNO i like that everyone is encouraging even when i clearly suck at softball haha thanks kevin i know you try :P and the grade 9ers are so cute hahah they are so younggg and they kind of make their own little jokes in their little group but i'm glad i was paired with tim wong on that one time we did surveys and he was so shy! haha and daniel when he posts on my wall and he's very happy about softball lol i hope they continue to play in ccsa but eventually actually go to socials and stuff cause that's where we have the most fun ^^
anyway this was our last weekend of regular season games. and we ended off with a record of 5-5 :) and we won both of those games to get there. playoffs? maybe.. but mannn this weekend was ridiculously hot =( and i umped a senior game at 2pm so the sun was killer =( but i really got to see the difference between junior and senior.. and i think i'm really fortunate to be playing in juniors and to be much less competitive and to know we have a leadership that is trying to work on that :) will also came out to our game. i learnt today that he does not go to games randomly haha and that he knew soldiers had a game at bevglen and he came out to watch and help us take pics ^^ gah will is so nice! lol
argh kay anyway i didn't think this would be so long =( i guess i'll just try to make the most of the rest of my summer. and really pray for my friendships to not die.. really want to eat and chill with people before i go off to uni. lol i make it sound like i'm goign somewhere far and never coming back again haha AH i hope i don't get too emotional on the day before i move in >__> haha wow i'm lame =(
ps. TO MO! if you read this :) hahah howard! the wall thing was pretty funny :) girl drivers! yay i trust andrea ^^ and i'll let you know if i ever come to mac, i don't know too many people there but it's sort of close? and jacky is there too except he's always too cool to hang out with us when he comes back on weekends... and i hope we have moooreee socials :) even if our season is ovar!
i guess i started thinking about it again because this weekend was just very very fun. i've always loved playing with soldiers and going to socials but this year i just felt a lot closer with the group, probably because just got to talk to people more, the amount of time we spend with each other and not only softball time but also at church/fellowship :) i love being around people that i know care (EVEN WHEN THEY MAKE FUN OF ME >___>) i guess it's kind of funny haha it's just sad because i know some of these people i won't really be talking to much or seeing at all after i head into loo. probably until next summer even... like howard? =( what 22 year old will talk to me about going into space in his gundam and act like he's ...10... hehe and i like that people will drive me home! and are very gracious with rides :) thanks kevinnn lol (not only that you drive me home, also the ride is quite fun ^^) and i like that people buy me food. not because i get free food but because they buy me food without me asking and that makes me feel good haha thanks for treating, guys!
IDUNNO i like that everyone is encouraging even when i clearly suck at softball haha thanks kevin i know you try :P and the grade 9ers are so cute hahah they are so younggg and they kind of make their own little jokes in their little group but i'm glad i was paired with tim wong on that one time we did surveys and he was so shy! haha and daniel when he posts on my wall and he's very happy about softball lol i hope they continue to play in ccsa but eventually actually go to socials and stuff cause that's where we have the most fun ^^
anyway this was our last weekend of regular season games. and we ended off with a record of 5-5 :) and we won both of those games to get there. playoffs? maybe.. but mannn this weekend was ridiculously hot =( and i umped a senior game at 2pm so the sun was killer =( but i really got to see the difference between junior and senior.. and i think i'm really fortunate to be playing in juniors and to be much less competitive and to know we have a leadership that is trying to work on that :) will also came out to our game. i learnt today that he does not go to games randomly haha and that he knew soldiers had a game at bevglen and he came out to watch and help us take pics ^^ gah will is so nice! lol
argh kay anyway i didn't think this would be so long =( i guess i'll just try to make the most of the rest of my summer. and really pray for my friendships to not die.. really want to eat and chill with people before i go off to uni. lol i make it sound like i'm goign somewhere far and never coming back again haha AH i hope i don't get too emotional on the day before i move in >__> haha wow i'm lame =(
ps. TO MO! if you read this :) hahah howard! the wall thing was pretty funny :) girl drivers! yay i trust andrea ^^ and i'll let you know if i ever come to mac, i don't know too many people there but it's sort of close? and jacky is there too except he's always too cool to hang out with us when he comes back on weekends... and i hope we have moooreee socials :) even if our season is ovar!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
teen drivers
this summer i learnt that teen drivers really are kind of dangerous haha. but mostly because they're easily distracted... that or they're impatient. oh and these drivers are all male... i guess it's cause girls don't drive as much. i'm kinda surprised i haven't gotten into a car crash this summer haha.. knock on wood? >_>
1) Kevin is distracted by something? does not realize Jon is reallly close infront of him. BRAKES REALLY CRAZY AND IT"S SCARY CAUSE THE BRAKES LK JAM AND UNJAM KINDA ... IT'S THAT THING THAT HAS TO DO WITH PHYSICS... yeah that was scary >_< almost crashed~
2) Kevin not paying attention again. i can't remember waht it was. he was just distracted. it was scary. there might've been swerving. or maybe he just did that to be mean >=\ i'll stop distracting you now T_T
3) Phil's car.. everyone is fighting over what channel, wendy is screaming "good night!" so there's a big fight over the radio. phil is very distracted. wendy starts screaming "red light!" but it sounds like goodnight... so when phil finally realizes he brakes suddenly! but not in time.. so he pretended as if he was just turning right... lol ALMOST ran a red light
4) my bro has been driving me to some places and ooomgosh he's so reckless! hardly stops at stop signs and he brakes so close to the car in front/stop light/stop sign. he doens't slow down on turns and ahhhh scary lol i'm surprised he hasn't been in an accident yet..
tons of driving stories this summer. i hope wendy will take me around in her awesome convertible car =O she's so crazy haha must take pics! and as scary as these car rides may seem i think i'm going to miss them haha. strangely... yes
phil and i also went to a park near my house and we went to go look for meteors during the Perseid's meteor shower thing :D i ended up seeing 3 :O so you CAN see these things in rhill ^^ we also had a good chat about stuff in general haha AHHH i love summer =( don't gooo~
1) Kevin is distracted by something? does not realize Jon is reallly close infront of him. BRAKES REALLY CRAZY AND IT"S SCARY CAUSE THE BRAKES LK JAM AND UNJAM KINDA ... IT'S THAT THING THAT HAS TO DO WITH PHYSICS... yeah that was scary >_< almost crashed~
2) Kevin not paying attention again. i can't remember waht it was. he was just distracted. it was scary. there might've been swerving. or maybe he just did that to be mean >=\ i'll stop distracting you now T_T
3) Phil's car.. everyone is fighting over what channel, wendy is screaming "good night!" so there's a big fight over the radio. phil is very distracted. wendy starts screaming "red light!" but it sounds like goodnight... so when phil finally realizes he brakes suddenly! but not in time.. so he pretended as if he was just turning right... lol ALMOST ran a red light
4) my bro has been driving me to some places and ooomgosh he's so reckless! hardly stops at stop signs and he brakes so close to the car in front/stop light/stop sign. he doens't slow down on turns and ahhhh scary lol i'm surprised he hasn't been in an accident yet..
tons of driving stories this summer. i hope wendy will take me around in her awesome convertible car =O she's so crazy haha must take pics! and as scary as these car rides may seem i think i'm going to miss them haha. strangely... yes
phil and i also went to a park near my house and we went to go look for meteors during the Perseid's meteor shower thing :D i ended up seeing 3 :O so you CAN see these things in rhill ^^ we also had a good chat about stuff in general haha AHHH i love summer =( don't gooo~
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
not ready to go
well i said i was going to write about kevin but too bad for him ^^
anyway i've been doing some thinking, actually more of a reflection, about this summer and i think God has been revealing to me the purposes of having me not go on a missions trip this summer. I've really been having a fantastic time this summer, mostly from just socials with softball people and hanging out with church friends after service or fellowship :) and felly too has been fun with malachi grad and random stuff just being with church peeps ^^ and He's just been teaching me so much through these experiences especially with softball and really just building up my relationship with Him. hopefully it stays strong when i go to uni..
as i was just getting out of highschool i was actually really really wanting to go to university. i was really excited and anxious and i just could not wait. now i guess it's a little different. i'm still looking forward to it and i'm sure it'll be tons of fun but i'm also pretty sad cause summer is ending fast! i'm probably just sad because i'm having so much fun now and not really wanting it to end, but ofcourse we all have to kind of move on, right?
IDUNNO what i'm trying to say really.. i guess i'm just going to miss summer...and all the people that won't be with me in waterloo but i really hope i can stay in touch with people and meet up when i come in on weekends and stuff. i think it was good at malachi grad when we got into mini groups for each grad and just prayed for their needs and prayed for them when they go off to university. the feeling you get when you know you have people there that will support and pray for you is awesomee ^^
i guess i'm really thankful for all the friendships that came out of this summer. and i hope that those ones will last and we can keep supporting each other in university wherever we are.
yupyupyup gotta hang out with people before we all go off wherever =( and i also gotta learn how to cook more things + do laundry + how to dry my clothes without having to use dryer! ahhh yah :)
anyway i've been doing some thinking, actually more of a reflection, about this summer and i think God has been revealing to me the purposes of having me not go on a missions trip this summer. I've really been having a fantastic time this summer, mostly from just socials with softball people and hanging out with church friends after service or fellowship :) and felly too has been fun with malachi grad and random stuff just being with church peeps ^^ and He's just been teaching me so much through these experiences especially with softball and really just building up my relationship with Him. hopefully it stays strong when i go to uni..
as i was just getting out of highschool i was actually really really wanting to go to university. i was really excited and anxious and i just could not wait. now i guess it's a little different. i'm still looking forward to it and i'm sure it'll be tons of fun but i'm also pretty sad cause summer is ending fast! i'm probably just sad because i'm having so much fun now and not really wanting it to end, but ofcourse we all have to kind of move on, right?
IDUNNO what i'm trying to say really.. i guess i'm just going to miss summer...and all the people that won't be with me in waterloo but i really hope i can stay in touch with people and meet up when i come in on weekends and stuff. i think it was good at malachi grad when we got into mini groups for each grad and just prayed for their needs and prayed for them when they go off to university. the feeling you get when you know you have people there that will support and pray for you is awesomee ^^
i guess i'm really thankful for all the friendships that came out of this summer. and i hope that those ones will last and we can keep supporting each other in university wherever we are.
yupyupyup gotta hang out with people before we all go off wherever =( and i also gotta learn how to cook more things + do laundry + how to dry my clothes without having to use dryer! ahhh yah :)
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