it all piles up

right now i'm in my very non-confident mode >__< i guess i've sorted some stuff out, thought some more about university but there's so many side things i still have to think about. i realize i'm stuck in a never-ending cycle. Things start to come up, I become scared, thus i don't want to think about it, so i push it back and go do some fun stuff and wait for things to cool off, then more things come up and i'm in the same cycle... worry, play, worry, play and the "do" is mixed in there somewhere...I guess i'm easily influenced, and the littlest things worry and upset me. This is so frustrating =(

well in recent news... today i got very annoyed at how people were acting >__< so I feel like what to do to like avoid getting angry or mad i just walk away and spend some time by myself and just cool off... a;lskd but like it's so frustrating when ppl kind of do something and then they realized that they treated you badly in some way and then they try to make it up by being all like "heyyyy salinaaa" kind of stuff and it's like blah =( whatever i'll try to ignore it. not my business >__<

in other recent news... i guess i kind of want to do street dance or just like a breaking part or something at my school culture show cause it really motivates me to actually practice and stick to it... but a friend was telling me how the coordinator of the dance wants it to be an all boys dance and i think i'm the only girl... and i SORT OF want to do it... high probability that i will be making a fool of myself... so i'm stuck in this dilemma so it's another thing i have to think about

on top of that, always university and school to bug me, and i have to consider the extracurriculars i want to do (should i go back to YCH to volunteer?) and getting a job is high priority as well... ONTOP of that scholarships. i don't have enough space in my head to organize all this !! and on top of this AGAIN i feel very lonely... i don't remember the last time i've got a comforting hug lk a real one.. i can never just sit down with any of my friends and just blurt things out.

we talked about the Sabbath a bit today and it's a day of rest we should all have in our weeks to just relax. i need to relax, chill, and trust in God more. on top of that... sleeping before 12