hk #8

i'm really picking up the blogging pace! i feel like i'm beginning to count down the days.. i only have 6 more days technically in hong kong until i head off to china so i hope i get to chill with people. it's really different not having parents here because i don't have any plans during the day unless i plan things with friends so when i don't have plans with friends i have nothing to do whereas with parents here i'd just accompany them places haha i doo miss my parents! i hope i don't have any trouble finding them at beijing airport. God please keep me safe on my little adventure!

tonight my heart feels so heavy... i had dinner with wendy, irene, and gladys and we had some VERY good talking time. i really appreciate your sharings and just saying the things that were said out of love =) i really missed you guys while i was in loo! but the things we talked about really made me think about a lot of other things... this really is all very difficult!! there's so many things to consider and like i've been trying hard too and IDUNNOO.. kept thinking about it during the entire bus ride home and even went straight to the harbour to have some quiet thinking time and i just feel frustrated and upset. i know i used "things" quite often and that it's suuuuper vague >_< but i cant lk saaay it. anyway .. i feel so uneasy right now. it's like i don't know where to go from here O_o i don't want to do anything sinful or cause others pain or to sin but like what is the proper way to love them then. it's like either way is a loss or something... i guess it really doesn't help that i can't talk to anyone here in hong kong and in a sense i do feel very lonely in hong kong... i don't have anyone to go to exactly cause people have other plans as well... and because msn is ... not good enough to talk about these things and to tell people how i feel or whatever. i wish i could call someone up and invite them out right but i guess right now in hk i don't have anyone to call >_<

buuuut i guess that's because i'm a noob and forgetting that God is here to talk things through with me too. actually i was at the harbour the other day thinking about/doing devos and i read 2corinthians 1:9 which says that "this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead". i need to praaay more and seek his guidance =( i honestly feel so lost sorta...

ALSO i know i sound really emo but i'm just confused and frustrated and feeling very... not "awn lok" :S yeahhh need more sea-side sitting and thinking! except now i'm scared by that indian dude! and thank you girls for talking to me about it. i need to face this!