i don't even know

sometimes the reality of blogging hits you... i'm only blogging cause you feel like you don't have anyone to go to T___T i feel like i've been broken today. like.. in the sense that you feel so open and exposed in a sense. AH VULNERABLE is the word. couldn't think of it for awhile haha. yes .. vulnerable >__< perhaps in the past 8 hours which i've been having a huge headache and all i could do is sit around and think and wonder and worry has broken me down and i feel very ... sad? i don't think it's necessarily sad. maybe more unsure, unknowing, confused? definitely troubled. i think i'm most unsure about.. my self... i see so many faults, but yet i can't fix them.. i think i know i should be but i can't ... think like that. and then there are some things i'm very unsure of.. i can't even describe it. but i guess if i were to generalize i'm quite disappointed in myself. why can't i be simpler, why do things i love turn out to be the hardest things for me to achieve (not just skills-wise), why am i so easily bugged about things. these will be some tough weeks..