fishy

note: music player sounds very weird so i will change the song soon. in fact right now i'm listening to LYDIA instrumental soooo pretty. maybe i will change it to that =D

anyways i got a pair of fish and i have yet to name them. At this rate I will probably never name them! I just had to mention that because I couldn't think of a title for this entry and i looked over and saw my fish!

But now that that is over with... I can blog about other things. (omgosh this instrumental is REALLY nice) I'm starting to get back into my regular routine of things before Culture show ever happened. It's so weird that it was like just a phase.. but I'm really happy that it has happened. I've made some new friends in other grades, and the people who i pass awkwardly in the hallway i can now say hi to. Dennis recently put up a note on facebook about how it is easy to destroy friendships, hard to build up ones, and then even especially hard to rebuild something after it's been broken. (wow this FIR cd is so gooood. highly recommend any FIR. so sad i missed them in toronto *cries*) While Dennis referred this back to the Church, I found it more useful at face value. I guess it's just very applicable to the context of my life right now. maybe mostly the rebuilding part. I've come to realize that I can be very pick and choose with how i treat people when i'm "irked". Irked meaning... bugged by something, emotionally restless? Sometimes i become violent (NOT LK HULK) often taking it out on Joseph/Nathan heh. but they are men they can take it NOT THAT I HIT HARD ANYWAY >__> or i become very unresponsive to some people. and i really do feel guilty afterwards. I guess i'm a person that is very easily controlled by emotions.. and not in a good way, though I know i've definitly improved. I think I need to learn to love better. It's a theme we've been going through in Sunday school and how love is a choice, you will yourself to love and it is accompanied by emotions but NOT GOVERNED by them. I think i base too many things on emotions. and maybe i'm just emotional like that and easily swayed.. i don't really know why i'm talking about this.. i've just been thinking about it a bit. kay now i'll go change the song. if only i could just put the whole FIR cd on the playlist... so goood!

*note: okay i tried to find the songs but i can't ... cause i'm bad at this stuff.. but LISTEN TO "Lydia (Piano Instrumental)" and "Hidden Eden (後樂園)" very pretty! so for now i'll just put another song...