cont'd

well now that i'm done my little blurb on friendship... IDUNNO being back in this kind of situation again has been nice and i think i've started off much better than before... everything is pretty relaxed and casual and i like it that way but i'm starting to feel that expectancy coming up again and i know it's going to be very bad if i can't control it... he treats me really well and he's really considerate and i feel bad for pushing him away and ignoring him sometimes but it's only cause i'm scared to get too emotionally attached or something. i wish i could talk about all my concerns and things i'm worried about but i really can't find myself to bring it up and bring a too serious and naggy tone to the relationship. today i found myself getting very annoyed and i feel bad because i know he was only there because of me... and not for any other reasons but i think once again i have problems trusting him just because of his background and his friends. however i really honestly know it's not his fault and how can i even complain when i'm the one who always avoids him and is keeping my distance when he's the one that is actually making more of the effort. maybe it's cause i'm still unsure of his feelings?