Saturday, September 20, 2008
not sure what this blog will be about, but feeling a need to blog
well as the title says.. i feel like i would like to get stuff out but i'm not really sure what =S today i went to wonderland and then i saw spongebob and patrick and joined a line of little kids to meet them.. and then asked the person if i could take a picture with them both >__< but TOTALLY WORTH IT! anyways things have been alright but school work is starting to stack up and all and i would like to get a good average for uni and stuff... but i keep thinking back to summer and how weekends i would go out and eat with friends, watch movies/dramas, ...shopping in hk lol i keep thinking about the past and reflecting on all that stuff... sometimes it's wishing i could go back in time, sometimes just reflecting on how far i've come since.. whenever... but when i look to the future i just get scared. I see lots of school work being due, i see university applications and i see a lot of unknowns. And then i look to the present and realize i am totally slacking off by blogging! I feel like such a lost case... dunno if that's the right word.. like very "無用" (canto pingyum: mo yong) i am really not smart... my marks only reflect the fact that i understood it for the time i needed to, did well on the few tests and completely threw all that information away. Why can't i truly dedicate myself to stuff... i like to say nowadays that i'm really hardworking... yes, much better than before.. but what am i working for?! only to get good marks to please people to get into university... it all seems so fruitless ? is that the right word... i don't know how to explain this at all and maybe this is just one of those times my mind is all jumbled up and i'm just panicking and worrying again. Sometimes i feel so satisfied and content, feeling that i have everything, and in these little alone times i realize i don't have much (not in the material sense). I remember telling myself recently when i was feeling happy that happiness doesn't always last and i should be prepared for something to come bum me down as usual. just feeling crappy now =( but i shall nevaaaar forget no matter how little i have, i will forever have God, and that shall bring me enough joy ^^
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go salina go! keep working hard. acutally no. balance. study hard and enjoy your drama's :)
when i was in grade 12 i worried about school a lot. i remember at the beginning of the year nevin and dan lee both told me to enjoy my senior year of highschool and i can't say i did but i really wish i had. the dumb thing about highschool is that it's so grade focused. like looking back i didn't feel like there was a whole lotta learing. now's it's the other way around. so don't worry about not remember things and not learning and such. it's a flaw with the school system. anyway (where was i going with this..) just don't forget to enjoy your last year of highschool & keep me updated with your life
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