back where i started... aka lost >___<

warning: super duper long...
well this has been an eventful day indeed... today was university fair and i was actually rather excited, cause i thought i was so sure that i knew my career path and all that stuff... but i guess i always knew the fact that i didn't have much background in languages but i didn't think that would be that big of a hindrance. however after asking around and visiting different universities and stuff i realized i can't really major in Chinese/Korean and that was kind of panicky. but then i found a booth that talked about doing translation related jobs and stuff and what universities have translation courses and then i felt relieved... and then i went to ask around at universities but they only work in translation with languages like spanish, french, etc. >__< so i went back to talk to the guy at the translation booth and he's like... WELL in canada it's highly unlikely you will find much opportunity with translation with East Asian languages and he suggest going to overseas where opportunities are greater... but i don't want to go so far away =( where i can only come back once a year... and that's only assuming i can get into universities there, which once again... highly unlikely because as i was completely discouraged today by one of those people i talked to... people don't usually go into translating unless they have sound background or experience in a language.. which i completely don't. and so my dreams are crushed. and if i were to study a language for a couple years in university as a minor maybe (since like no ontario universities seem to major much in east asian languages >__>) what the heck is going to be my other field of study =( i am a total noob at chemistry and i have not much interest in science... i have no back-up and why do i not excel at anythingggg why do i have to have interest in a field that i'm so ill-prepared for. so after university fair i am very very depressed,feeling like i have no future, no direction, and so afraid of how i'm going to turn out. am i going to be one of those people that has a job that they don't enjoy for the rest of their lives cause they weren't good enough to do what they wanted? VERY POSSIBLE >__< i wanted to check out ubc's stand but we took a wrong turn on the way out... so i couldn't, adding to the distress of the moment... so then i started to cry >__< it's so rare that i cry infront of people because i'm usually so influenced by my surroundings... if everyone is happy it's hard for me to be sad but this was so.. terrible enough that i couldn't help it >__< most people seemed to know exactly what field they were looking into. and as for me... my dreams were kind of destroyed. it was very sad... i really wanted to just cry it all out but then it got really awkward so i had to stop.. i guess the rest of the night was slightly better... we had a dance at school.. dancing my worries away lalala but i got made fun of by s5s... i don't know why they adopted such an attitude today for they are normally very nice! well anyways i think i should go seek some help from people =( felly counsellors and ms sirna... lol i don't want to be a failure =( i don't want to take a year off to have to decide what to do or stuff... i want to hurry and finish university so my parents can stop paying like 15 000 a year for my education. they have worked so hard and given so much so that i might have a better education and end up with a better life than they had when they were younger. but all they get for all that money is some kid who is really unable to do anything well. i am really not smart at all >__<
WHAT DO I DOOOO i'm so scared >__< i'm trying my hardest to trust in God but i still am scared of what i don't know.. and 多謝我的朋友沒有一個人問我我怎麽樣。。。 沒有一個人問我爲什麽我哭， 沒有一個朋友來幫我。 我不想怪他們不過我覺得這樣是應該。。。他們是不是忘記了？我要讓自己加油， 不過會容易一點如果我朋友也可以幫我行這個很難行的路。