Tuesday, December 9, 2008
confidence confidence
thinking about self-esteem and having people talk to me about it always makes me kind of very sad on the inside... i don't think people realize when they do certain things and i'm sure they don't mean it, but it really makes me think a certain way. like how i am not good and stuff.. but i guess at least if it's the truth i know that i'm not good at something but then.. everyone is good at something... everyone can name one skill that they are really good at..some people are really smart at something, very good at a sport, singing, music whateverrr it is.. ppl can name one. i can't name one about myself. i'm not particularly excelling at anything. i'm just about average/below average for everything... and people say "oh but you're friendly" THAT IS NOT A SKILL T__T everyone is pretty much friendly. haiz. i think a lot of the time i'm looking for encouragement, for someone else to confirm that i can do it/i'm good at something cause i don't trust my own judgement.. but whenever i don't get the kind i need i always get sad and feel like i'm not good at anything. i don't think that people should lie about it and not be honest, i think that honesty is important. but i don't even know what i "want" i mean ... i just want to be confident in my abilities.. whatever they may be. i feel like i'm stuck in the pit and i always try to climb out of it but it just doesn't work. i forget about it for awhile but once a stumbling block comes up, i'm right back at the bottom. i don't know where i'm meant to be in the future, and honestly very worried about it. I really wish i could never have to worry, and just TRUST that things will be okay. but i am to scared...why am i such a troubled personn... T__T
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1 comment:
oh salina...
"...and people say "oh but you're friendly" THAT IS NOT A SKILL T__T everyone is pretty much friendly. haiz."
LOL
I struggle a lot with that as well. A lot of people think oh because I'm in engineering than i'm smart. that's not the case when i'm hovering in the lower half of my class.
i think you shouldn't worry about these things too much b/c honestly, the more people you know, the less adequate you feel. There are some seriously smart and hardworking people here so i just pale in comparison.
More importantly, you shouldn't worry about these things too much because you should always remember that God has a purpose for you and given you talents and gifts that you will use at just the right times. As cheesy as it sounds, it's true. So don't discredit your friendliness, it's a good trait to have!
And this is not to say that you shouldn't keep trying to improve yourself or do better in things because that is also what we are called to do. So keep trying to be better but for the right reasons =)
as for trusting yourself. well, if you have trouble trusting in yourself that's okay. better for you to trust in God's ability to use you and mold you as his daughter.
don't worry so much! =)
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