united

so this weekend thus far has been pretty amazing. just some side things to blog about before i get onto the main point... HID was pretty fun. nothing special or anything but enjoyable =) a nice break from school and just good outdoors time. played the s6 vs staff softball game this year. so old now haha but i got a run =D i was just lucky that radu had a good hit haha. i also watched UP.. really cuuute movie but a looot of sad parts =( cried so many times haha >_< doh so lame T_T but yeah good stuff. and felly was good, talked to deaconess lorraine =) she's always so supportive and stuff. ^^

anyways i really wanted to blog about my saturday... because it was a very good day :) i had an STM training but had to leave early to go to ontario place for the hillsong concert! good thing i stayed long enough to learn about the other team members going on the trip. it's just really amazing to hear how God works in people's lives and meets all their needs and how each one of us seem specifically picked for this team. and how we're all just there together and wanting to do what we're called to because we love God. anyways it was good times at Ontario Place. too bad there was no maze =( but we went on random log ride which wasn't very wetting. i think i got a bit sunburned on the face. not to a peeling extent though. it was cool cause kevin came with us and we don't really hang out with him a lot but he wanted to go to the concert :) when hillsong began to play and stuff, i had the same feelings come back to me from the first concert. just how amazing and uniting God's love is. similarly to the STM, bringing people together to tell of the good news, there were a ton of people, gathered to worship God and to shout his praises all because we love Him. It's really amazing seeing a pretty much full concert and everyone worshiping. A lot of people asked me if it was better than the first time i went and i had never really thought about it before.. but it really asked me to reflect on that. I realized i've come a long way since the last concert two years ago. i've matured so much as a person (despite the fact that i keep pointing out i haven't changed...) but especially in my walk with God. two years ago was more of a rededication moment for me. but this year was much different. i wasnt as hit by the words of the song in the way that "wow God is so amazing, i'm terrible for having denied Him so much" but more of a "Yes, God IS amazing and i want to shout out how wonderful He is". I think i used to get caught up a lot in just singing the songs but i've been trying very hard to focus more on the words of the songs and mean them when i sing them and that just made worshipping Him even more fulfilling. it was also great seeing the friends that i went with also worshipping. I'm glad that all the people decided to come and could make it. I know some were hesitant or maybe only wanted to go for Hillsong, but i really hope that last night made some difference in their night, whether it was learning how to worship better, or self reflection. I know a lot of people might walk away from events like this and be on a spiritual high or some sort of high from the excitement. But I hope that everyone, including me, could worship like that ALL the time and not just in big concerts and events that give you that "feeling". Just truly mean what they sing and reflecting on it. Anyway that's my little spiel about the concert. I learnt a lot from it ^^ God is awesome :)

after that we just went to eat korean and stuff. got a ride home at like 3? (sorry oscar T_T but thanks ^^) and basically fell into bed... good day =)

PROM: the experience?

i didn't have many expectations for prom. and that's good because if i had, then i would be disappointed. >__> but it was still fun and all. nothing as glitzy and glamorous as you see in the movies but fun nonetheless. i kinda maybe would've liked it if it was at more of a banquet hall style MAYBE. maybe that stuff is better for bigger groups. not sure... but yeah i did my own hair, own make-up, which looks really non-existant in pictures. i felt like everyone was much dressier and prettier =( maybe should've done more stuff but whateverrrr and they had really nice dresses =( too bad i hadn't charged my camera cause i didn't get pictures at preformal but i just borrowed other people's cameras lol thanks to jeff for charging my batteries T_T my shoes are quite ruined by the grass though and his house is sooo nice..

mm as expected the limo wasn't that fascinating but i guess it was kiiinda fun. our driver was jokes. he told me that we should leave our guns in the car (since there was a body security check thing lol) the formal venue was aites too. nicely decorated but small... and we started really late so that wasn't so good cause less dance time and there were lots of rap songs that i didn't know ... yah whatever. dinner was aites. i found out i don't like creme brulee haha just lots of photo taking... i feel lk i didn't even take taht many photos. also all my photos are bad cause my bangs are sooo ugly T_T whatever though. i don't think the formal part of the night is even that memorable... i really liked my corsage though XD

i think the memorable stuff happened at the afterparties.. good and bad. han's was relaly messy T_T i finally know what it feels like to be the one that takes care of drunk ppl at parties... this one person was really out of it and he had a terrible day apparently and so i guess he drank a looot. and he was gone sooo fast T_T but aly wanted someone sober to take care of him so i said sure. i was really scared >__< incase he did something spontaneous but can't just leave him. so i said yeah and i kept making him drink water and he was falling over and it was terrible cause i'm not very strong. and he said he wanted to tell me smething i can't tell anybody but he was too drunk to remember.. then at some point we had to lift him to the washroom cause he said he had to go. then we lifted him back down and then he threw up... on my hand... and apparently got on my shirt.. and it was just so bad cause he was unconcious for a bit and we had to wake him and get more water for him.. stressful.. but good thing there were ppl there who knew what they were doing. and they were helping him feel better. also there was another guy who gets emo when he drinks and he says sort of mean things to me in physics but i always take it as a joke... but he was like "salina! i'm so sorry i'm such a jerk to you. i don't mean the things i say to you, it's just a front i put up because i'm scared of having a real friendship with people" and that was so sad to hear T__T the whole time there was really depressing and i felt really sad and frustrated at the same time. it was sad that some people need to do this to themselves to "escape" and it's sad cause the second guy said "i probably won't even rememeber all these things i said to you when i'm sober and i won't even change" haiya. and the vomit thing was just gross and that didn't help my mood.. but jo made a good point about how he thought this was how God was showing him that drinking uncontrollably or too extreme amounts is BADDD

2nd party at bmas was better than i thought. i thought it'd be a lot more people but some people were sleeping already so it was fairly easy to get along with everyone. also cause i've met some of the people before. they were pretty funny and jokes. some ppl just played smash in the basement lol just lots of things to laugh at i guess and i slept on the table .. that wasn't that fun haha but interesting. should've taken pics then too just to remember those times

overall the whole prom thing was a fairly good experience. more so the parties just to know what it's like. really wish my bangs loooked better lol

i can't not work!

well i can but still at the very last minute i still feel obliged to work. and i so wish i could blog because i haven't blogged in awhile and i miss it maybe just a tiny bit ^^ but DARN ENGLISH ESSAY. makes the book i'm reading much less enjoyable. although it's already pretty weird on its own... 65 more pages to go!

MOTHERS <3

well mother's day was pretty cool :) in general weekend has been going okay, sunday being especially good. saturday i was out for most of the day and went to pmall with caius and sharon to go phone shopping! such pro docomo phones with 8 megapixel cameras.... NEED MY PHONE TO WORK! and just chatted about stuff good bonding time with people i don't usually hang out with often. then met with oscar and jo and more pmall chilling and eating =D so i was at pmall for lk 6 hours T_T and then i went to 4:24 redefinition! it was actually really good. not a huge turnout but it was very insightful and really offered a different outlook to the idea of worship and how we can use multi-media to worship God. and not doing something to make time for other things that we should do. and how doing something that glorifies God is also worship. all in all great performers and speakers :) rhyme minista!

sunday was mother's day! :) i ate breakfast with my mommy, went to church and sunday school was really interesting. near the end of eric's lesson we talked about how we would write down from 1 to 1000 dollars, what we thought we were worth. Somehow it came to equating what we were worth and how perfect we are. and most of us stayed 20 minutes longer than the usual time just to keep learning about it and in discussion about how worth and "perfection" are not proportional. and it was really cool and insightful! and it's been good now that esther is back since she has the car a lot and her and curtis like to go out all the time after church XD and we went to eat at ginza! it's really cool how i hear about all these plans to "revamp" (for lack of better word) the youth fellowship/ss. then as esther was driving me home we got on the topic of planet earth. and it was weird cause i was just looking at it yesterday! and yeah it's so cool ^^ and then i went cheung k with my mom xD at focus karaoke... so jokes! and we went to eat a good dinner ^^ and that was my good sunday

and that was also my work-free weekend!

troubled...

annoyed, peeved (if this is a word), confused, more annoyed..., "torn", bit upset, CONFUSED..., some things always change .. but i swear i'm always the same.. big fail at self-improvement... =(

doh emo post >__<

so much fail in two days!

in the past two days i've had an assignment and two tests. and everything was totally failllll. and my ds broke T_T nuuuu. ah well it's okay >_< marks aren't that important anymore i guess and maybe i can still play my ds if it's only hanging on one hinge.. T_T

anyways thanks for the people who comment btw :) just nice to see some feedback haha. so many thing are coming up and so many things are happening it's becoming hard to keep track! :P

i'm trying to go out more and get more fresh air and to do more exercise T_T flabby armssss! yeah not much up kinda random. might go take a nice walk now!

what a wonderful maker!

coming to church always reminds me how great it is to have friends who are Christian.. sometimes it's just like an understanding of each other beyond just a level of friendship that ... is indescribable. anyways today was the first time we decided to try out a prayer meeting thing for youth fellowships and some of the uni people and while i would never have gone to those "older" people prayer meetings, this youth-based one was really great. i'm glad i decided to skip out on dinner (sorry jo!) but it was so worth it. just being able to share about yourself and your week and to hear about other people's lives is really great because i know they listen and i know they care. and group prayer is always just awesome ^^

felly was good too. we talked about testimonies and we wrote them out and stuff and we shared with each other and it's nice hearing how God has made Himself known in other people's lives and it just shows so strongly of how God can cater to us all and provide for us.

then we decided to go out to eat and it's good because alysan and sharon came this time too whereas usually they're not as allowed to go out but they had rides home this time haha and it was just really good chatting, talking about things, lots of laughs, embarassment haha it's all good stuff. it's also nice cause uni ppl back and phil is coming out to church again and curtis drove me home so we chatted about stuff and it's just nice to be able to talk in general :)

it does kind of suck that i only make these things after hanging out with people from church or being at church but everytime is just like such a resounding reminder of why it's so important to have those Christian bros and sisters there supporting, like at a prayer meeting or even just those end-of-felly group prayers :)