neutralized

today i feel especially dead. perhaps it's been a long day but it feels like nothing is particularly striking me today. i feel lk i've lost extreme emotions today and i'm very..neutralized? maybe it's this essay that is forever reminding me how screwed i am but yet i still don't want to do it. but tomorrow i'm going to try to "kill" the research as my friend said. and by sunday i should pretty much be done writing it hopefully. leaving time to study for the midterm that is on the same day!
after that i should be okay...

but it's in these times that i should especially see the glory of God in eveything. even though this essay might by bogging me down (is that the right phrase?) God's amazing presence and love shall get me through! every day is a blessing

i'm starting what a fellow froshie suggested: 365 days of praise, writing down a praise everyday. there are really a limitless amount of things to be thankful for everyday but i think it'll be rewarding and amazing looking back on all the things that God has provided. and then knowing that's only a tiiiiniest fractiion of eeeverything he gives, i don't know if i can begin to comprehend! BUT PRAISE THE LORD! ye~

anyways it's been fairly decent recently. i am losing the keener inside me a bit but i think it's only because of this essay which i'm reluctant to work on. but i have no complaints i think today is just one of the "not as good days" but that's because my other days tend to be pretty good ^^ anywho i'm here alone at slc meaning to start work so i shall stop the blogging now ahah