chingu

friends. this is one of those late-night-thinking-about-meaningful-stuff blogs... and tonight i'd have to say the topic is friends. i guess this comes up every so often because for awhile i feel content and i feel happy but then sometimes i'm asked to question these people i call friends, and question the relationship that exists. it's really.. amazing how that relationship can change over time, both negatively and positively.
the positives ones always make me very happy. it's nice to feel that i have people that want to invest time into the friendship and want to hang out with me or catch up or see me and stuff like that. and even if you haven't heard from them in awhile, the ability to be close and good friends despite that distance is very encouraging.
on the other hand, sometimes you realize friendships are quite shallow, and that the other person can almost see you as dispensible in a sense. a lot of the time it's clear when the person doens't really care all that much if your conversation dies or not, etc. idunno i guess it's a little depressing becuase i realize a lot of my friendships would fall into this category. that some people that i call friends really aren't that concerned about me at all. or might not go very far to wonder about me, see if i'm doing alright and stuff.
well we'll see how this week goes. i think i've decided i'm going to live with portia so i'm excited for that. i guess i gotta start looking at houses =( so sooon.