WOW okay last attempt to keep up a blog. i keep finding that i need it sometimes and then don't need it some other times so it's like... a really on and off thing... i guess i decided to start this blog because i really needed to get some things out. just anywhere. as long as it's out of my system it's good. SIGH so idunno really today i totally got ignored and left alone cause the girls were interested in that *find the difference* game and i love that they love to game but i wish they dind't have to exclude me in it. they never ask me if i want to play and then i end up sitting out/apart from everyone. and that really doesn't feel too good. it's happened before.. like when J and L were playing mario kart, i was totally sitting there doing absolutely nothing and neither of them offered their turn up. i waited just to see if they would ask me to play. is it wrong to test them like that?
I'm not really sure what i'm doing sometimes. i want to act mad but i can never get myself to exhibit that "mad" mood. i can maybe keep that mood for... 5 minutes and then it gets weird. idunno i wish things weren't so complicated. i mean would it be easier if i didn't care at all. and these are such simple things too. Am i expecting too much from my friends... and then being let down? that always happens doesn't it. wishing things were one way and then when it isn't, you just get all upset. i wish i had someone i could rant all this too but instead i'm letting this all out in a blog. which is kinda sad. and i guess that's it... not the best day but hope it gets better.
yah i'm sure God has something better in store for me. i just have to "get through the rain to see the rainbow" or however that saying goes....
1 comment:
haha, cute that you're trying to keep up a blog. everyone's gotta let loose one way or another, and you like to blog :p
it's not wrong to test your friends like that. friends are there to be tested. it may be difficult to accept, but that's what gives meaning to those really good friendships that have passed the test. well in this case, with your video game example, it may seem a bit petty... but i'd expect girls to be more sensitive to stuff like that, whereas guys tend to shrug stuff off easier. no worries, you're not strange.
you're lucky that your "mad" / "hissy-fit" mood doesn't stick with you, and i love that. i swear you radiate so much cheerfulness wherever you are - and i mean it - and that's what i adore about you. it's a virtue, believe me. i'm sorry you feel like there's nobody you can rant to. i think, with time, when you open your eyes a little, you'll find what you needed in people you might not have expected. sometimes if you just take a break from looking inward at yourself, and start looking out at the people around you who love you, you'll see that God provides.
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